i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I wish i was in the wii world.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
