ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
