Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
It's never too late to be topless.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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