He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
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I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
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Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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