I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
