I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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