this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
