His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
