I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize
