Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
