So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
