I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
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