Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
How does it feel to date your dad?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
