she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize