There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
