if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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