Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
