I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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