Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Randomize
