Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
