I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
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