It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
