the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
