oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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