the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He shit in the fireplace
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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