I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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