It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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