Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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