I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize