Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
