And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
