i don't want you to think of me as your TA
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Randomize
