I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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