You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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