Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
