Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
