I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Randomize
