so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
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