Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
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