I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT