I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
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We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
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Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.