so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
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I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
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this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.