Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
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