May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
A bitchslap is in order.
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