Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
