I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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