New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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