Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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