What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
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