I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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