Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
stop calling my apartment porn island.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
