Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
