so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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