So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
