Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
