I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Randomize
