I wanna bring you to show and tell
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
