If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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