Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
