I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize
