She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
