Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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