He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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