Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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