We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
