No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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